I
find myself getting more and more depressed by the day. Am I pushing myself too
hard? Am I trying too hard to become somebody else? Most of the times, I had to
bite my lips and fight on. But at the same time, the more courage I harness,
the weaker I get. I feel like a lifeless soul, trying to live like I had a purpose,
but fact is I don’t. It is not my purpose, but rather a purpose that the
society has set. I am always trying to be that best person for the people
around me. I am always trying too hard to be perfect.
But
I am feeling broken.
I
can’t tell anyone my secrets. I can’t tell anyone how I truly feel about
something. I have these urges and compulsion that I cannot reveal. I cannot
stand the judgment and therefore I want to stay invisible. Don’t want to do
anything that stands out. Yet how much I crave for someone to just tell me that
he or she understands.
There
are so many things about myself, about life that I need guidance on. But I
cannot seem to find the light. I have a lot of rage, a lot of sadness inside of
me. It’s killing me slowly.
Maybe
soon, I’ll end up alone.
