All those things I was not allowed to do, you did it all. If I were to assume like you did, this argument will never end. Even if I said I want to go, why can't you ask me to stay? All those things you did to me, what if i was me who did it to you? Would you be able to take it.
Everything just felt like a deja vu. Like a repeat of the previous arguments that we had. Just that our roles had changed. You became just like how I used to be. And I am trying hard to figure you out like how you used to be.
Is this revenge?
Revenge for the years of ignorance I've shown to you?
For the humiliation and suffering that you had when you were with me?
And you just chose to keep quiet. Because all along you were just testing me. Just watching how much more mistakes I can make, so that you can prove your point about me. So that you can watch me drop to hell.
I don't know why when we could have just openly discuss what you were upset about, you chose to beat about the bush and try to make me look like I'm a stupid fucked up girlfriend. You just want to make me think and slap myself in the face when the answer is obvious TO YOU yet I couldn't think of it. It just proves to you how inconsiderate I am. Isn't it?
We had to go through rounds of guessing games. And the questions you asked me leave no room for explanation. Sacarsm. Everything feels more like an interrogation to me.
I know I could have done better. I just don't know how. And I must figure that out myself. But when I did, everything's too late. If it comes to the point, if it was a matter of life and death. By the time I could decide what I want to do, you're probably dead.
I have no common sense. I couldn't think or behave like how you expect a girlfriend should be. I'm sorry I'm not even worthy as a stranger or a friend. I'm always not doing what I'm supposed to do and doing what I was not supposed to do.
I'm really sorry.
I guess I am no ordinary girl.
I'm a dumb ass.
