I have no say. I'm just a doll.
I found joy today. But why I feel like I shouldn't have this joy at all? It shouldn't be mine. I'm always wrong! ALWAYS WRONG. I'm always doing things SO UNFORGIVEABLE! I'm always disappointing people. I'm such a disappointment. I should just rot away. Nobody's happy when I'm around. I'm not the apple in anyone's eyes.
It's NOT worth to exchange anything, even a few seconds for my happiness.
My feelings are worthless!
Everyone's wish is my command. I am slave! Slap me.
I just feel like EVERY CELL in me is WRONG. JUST WRONGS AND MORE WRONGS. Everything I say, everything I do are only mistakes. Never able to get an understanding. Even trying to get an understanding is wrong. It's not right to ask people to understand me because it's only right that I should understand the others. It's always about the others.
NEVER ME!!!!
And so what if my birthday is easy to remember? It doesn't make me any bit unique. I am still like shit to everyone. Always never able to celebrate my birthday how I wanted to. My birthday is like death dates. It's not at all celebrative. It's a BURDEN!!!
SCREW MYSELF!!!
WHO CAN SEE I'M SO BROKEN INSIDE??
Who can see I'm just putting on a fake smile every day.
Who realise I stopped laughing from the bottom of my heart.
Who can see my smiling eyes are tearing?
Who can see my heart is bleeding.
Who can see I'm not MAY you all once knew ANYMORE??
Everyone just wants me to be who they want me to be.
JUST WHAT I HAVE TO DO THEN YOU GUYS WILL STOP TELLING ME WHAT I SHOUD BE???
Am I really that undesireable?
Must I change in order for you all to accept me?
Am I not the May you guys love from the first time we knew each other?
Why is it now everything's changing?
Why is it now you guys want me to start changing?
WHY AM I SO HATED??
